Weight Loss: Are You Helping or Are You Sabotaging?

Now, this is a subject I have never covered before. I started thinking about an article I read a few days ago on Us Weekly, titled Kim Kardashian, Khloe Kardashian Criticize Rob Kardashian’s Stretch Marks, Weight Gain, where Kim and Khloe Kardashian discussed their younger brother, Rob Kardashian, and his struggle with weight loss. The two sisters decided that they were going to utilize reverse psychology on their little brother by leaving him “in a room and just give him burgers, fries and pizza” and allow him to “binge out a little.” Honestly, it does not sound like they want to help him. Maybe, in their own strange, twisted little ways they believe they are helping Rob achieve his weight loss goal. Let’s be honest here. If you know someone in your life is trying their hardest to lose weight, why would you make a disparaging comment like that? Clearly, these two do not believe their brother can drop the weight and are making hurtful remarks to let him know it. Whatever the motive, it is not going to help Rob; rather, it would hurt him in more ways than one. Think about it: the people you love most–and those who should love you most–are making hurtful remarks about your body on television and putting you down for all to see. Frankly, I am thoroughly disgusted. On top of that, it sounds as though they are encouraging Rob to become bulimic or anorexic. Since his sisters wish to put down Rob and his weight, they might want to take a long look at themselves and the issues they have with their own bodies. Ladies, clean the skeletons out of your own closets before you start peeking in Rob’s.


Lil Wayne Finds New Ways to Set us Back 400 years

When my parents were in their teens and twenties, they listened to music that had a message. The musicians they listened to not only entertained their audiences, but educated them on the political issues of the time. I can’t say that about Lil Wayne’s latest musical venture. Recently, Lil Wayne recorded a verse on Future’s song “Karate Chop.” Lil Wayne’s lines are both confusing and vile. In his line, he discusses performing a rough sexual act on a woman while making reference to Emmett Till, the Chicago teen who was tortured and brutally murdered in Mississippi after whistling at a white woman. Words cannot describe how disgusted I was when I first heard about the incident. Here are the offending lyrics, edited for the sake of decency:

Pop a lot of pain pills
‘Bout to put rims on my skateboard wheels
Yeah, beat that (expletive) up like Emmett Till

There are articles that have the exact word, so you can look that up on any search engine. It’s frightening, that in this day and age, a young, intelligent black man would degrade his own people and history by describing the double disrespect of not only the woman with whom he intends to share intimacy and the brutal assault and murder of an innocent teenager. Lil Wayne, if you haven’t already done so, do some research on Emmett Till. Look up a picture of his mutilated body and see the image of the young man to whom you’ve made reference in your disgusting, poor excuse of a song. If this is what we call music nowadays, I am thoroughly ashamed. And my peers wonder why I prefer old school music to today’s R&B and hip hop. This is so bad I hesitated in telling my mother about this cretin and his choice of words. When I did, she was disturbed, and understandably so. I think it’s about time we re-evaluate our choices in music and the musicians we support. It’s also time that companies such as Epic Records reconsider the caliber of artists they choose to sign. These artists will not only earn money, but will represent the company. If you want Lil Wayne to represent your label–be he a signed artist or an artist appearing on the album–then consider the quality of work you will receive. This work you allow him to record and allow yourselves to release will speak volumes about you as an organization. What do you want your work to say about you? What do you want your artists to say about you as a recording company? Do you want to be respected and admired, or do you not want people to buy your products? When you allow artists such as Lil Wayne to record garbage, it says a lot about you. It says that you don’t care what you publish under your name and the quality of your work doesn’t mean a thing to you. It’s good that L.A. Reid has apologized for allowing this filth to be released, but it would be even better if Lil Wayne offered his apologies as well. While Epic Records allowed him to record this disgraceful line, Lil Wayne made the conscious decision to write and record it. Lil Wayne, put your big boy pants on and do the right thing.

4 Basic Rules On Approaching Women

I never thought this would be an issue, but after a conversation with my sister earlier today, I feel like I need to address this subject: how men approach women. Gents, if you want to approach a lady, do so respectfully. Don’t go up to her and start the conversation with “Yo, ma!” or “hey ma, can I get your number?” I’m going to address that too, but here’s a list of things men need to understand when it comes to approaching women. Take notes, fellas. This list determines whether or not you get a date on Friday night.

1. Asking a woman you’ve never met to pay for your food.

I’m all for helping out a friend or buying a meal for someone who would not have had anything to eat otherwise. However, if I’m in Subway, and a man I don’t know turns around and asks me, “so, are you paying for my food?” I will most definitely shut him down. I may say “no,” or give a resounding “hell no!” If you can afford those nice Jordans or the iPod you’ve got in your hand, then you can afford to pay for your own sandwich.

2. Ask me out once and only once.

If you ask me out and I say no, 9 times out of 10 my answer will remain the same. Don’t keep asking me out hoping my answer will change. Nothing will change. If it does, you’ll be the first one to know. Guys, women don’t like being hounded for a date. If the answer was a favorable one, you would have already gone on the first date by now. The fact that the woman says no is not a reflection on your character; she’s just not interested. Be respectful of her boundaries and leave well enough alone.

3. Approach me respectfully.

This is a given. I should not have to say this, but there are “men” out there who think it’s cute to call a woman “ma” while talking to her or trying to get her attention. Newsflash, fellas, you have a “ma,” and I’m not it. Your “ma” is the one who raised you, so save that term of endearment for her. If you want to talk to me, come to me and ask me how I’m doing; introduce yourself to me; ask me for my name; and just start a conversation with me.

4. Do not ask the question “Hey, Ma, can I get your number?”

I could count how many times a man has asked me that–both in high school and college. Honestly, approaching me like that won’t work. If you come up to me asking that question, my answer will be “no.” In college, I would tell these guys that I had a boyfriend, which was the truth. Some of them were respectful and backed off, and some were not and would follow up with the suggestion that “we can be friends.” We both know you want more than a platonic relationship, so why are you even asking that question?

Gentlemen, if you see a beautiful woman and you would love to get to know her better, keep these rules in mind. I’m not your mother, so do not call me “Ma.” Show some respect, and maybe you’ll get a phone number.

Jackassery at its finest

Ladies and gents of the ‘net world, I feel as if I need to address a serious issue. Now, for some of you young men, this may not seem like a big deal, but trust me when I say it is. The issue: men who let their pants hang past their rear. Gentlemen, pay attention to the wizdom I’m about to dispense, because it may very well save you one day. The trend you love so much makes you all look like thugs. The first time I see a young man with his pants sagging like that, I automatically start laughing. I see you as a joke. I don’t take you seriously. It’s hard to take a man seriously when his pants are sagging so low they hit his shoes. Let me explain something to you guys:

The pants trend you all are so fond of has its origin in prisons. Back in the day, prisoners had to find a way to let others know that they were “available”. It had to be a way that would not be so obvious and could get past the guards. The method they chose was lowering their pants slightly. It was just enough to show their rear end, which let other prisoners know what they were looking for. Fleece Johnson, a prisoner at Kentucky State Penitentiary, has said that the style “is sexy to us”, in reference to himself and other prisoners.
Lock-Up_RAW Booty Warrior Fleece Johnson
Gents, if you really think think you look “gangsta” or “cool” to the public when you drop your pants that low, you are sadly mistaken. News flash! No one thinks that style is cool. And if you go to an HBCU (Historically Black College/University), then you should be embarrassed to walk around with your pants low like that. Pull up your pants, act like you have some common sense, get a belt and tighten it. I don’t want to see the color of your underwear and I definitely don’t care what brand name you wear. You may be very intelligent, well mannered, strong in your faith, and a wonderful son to your parents, but when you allow your pants to sag low enough to show your behind, you give the world the wrong impression about you. Your choice of style has people thinking that you’re a thug and that you lack self respect or perhaps respect for others. Do not allow your choice of style to define you, but rather your brain. Use that to prove yourself instead.

Trayvon Martin: Everybody’s got to have something to say

If you read the paper, stay online frequently, listen to the radio or have access to a television, then you know about the Trayvon Martin case. A 17 year old boy was murdered by a nutcase vigilante named George Zimmerman. Now, I know it’s not nice to make fun of people, but screw it, he abdicated his right to be respected a long time ago. This poor excuse of human flesh called 911 on Trayvon, claiming that he was behaving in a suspicious manner. He made sure the 911 operator knew that Trayvon is African-American on more than one occasion during the phone call. Zimmerman is  a neighborhood watch captain, not a police officer. He also had a handgun with him and followed Trayvon, even after the 911 operator told him not to do so.  Now everyone in Zimmerman’s life, from family members to neighbors, are coming out of the wood works to say that he’s not a racist, that he has “black friends and family members,” and that he was defending himself against an unarmed Trayvon. Mind you, Trayvon did NOT have a gun on him; he had a can of Arizona iced tea and a bag of Skittles. A BAG OF SKITTLES AND A CAN OF FRIGGIN ICED TEA!!! The Sanford police department chose not to pursue the case, because Zimmerman claimed self-defense and the police bought it. There is a law down there called the “Stand Your Ground” law, which basically allows you to go Gunsmoke on a person if you feel that your life is in danger. That law is complete and utter bull$#i+ in my opinion. So is Zimmerman’s claim of “self-defense.” As of right now, Zimmerman is in hiding. No surprise. Damn near everybody wants his head. Even the New Black Panther Party has put out a $10,000 bounty on his arrest and they’re talking about upping the anty to $1,000,000. Think about it, people. If you say you’ll give $10,000 to the person who finds Zimmerman, what do you think that person will do to him? I think we all know what will happen. The Black Panthers said they want him brought to them and that they’ll turn him into the federal government. If the federal government won’t take him, the Black Panthers will deal with him. Three guesses what that probably means. I think it’s a good idea to let the law deal with him. Let’s do it the right way, people. Trayvon’s family will not get true justice until Zimmerman’s in jail for his crimes, not kidnapped by a number of vigilantes who will probably handle him themselves.

Since I’m on the subject of how to handle things, let’s talk about Spike Lee, shall we? Everybody is so eager to find Zimmerman, they’ll post whatever information they can about him on any and every social media outlet. Now, I can’t put all of the blame of Spike. I can give him some of the blame. Not too long ago, a man named Marcus D. Higgins originally tweeted the home address of George Zimmerman. Or so he thought. It turns out to be the address of an elderly couple who have no ties to the Zimmerman situation whatsoever. They do have a son with a similar name, but that’s as close to Zimmerman as they will ever get. As if tweeting the address wasn’t bad enough, Spike Lee had to jump on the bandwagon and re-tweet the address. Spike didn’t know that it wasn’t Zimmerman’s address, but after he found out–and after much prodding from his 200,000+ followers, and a few non-followers–tweeted an apology to the elderly couple and offered financial restitution. After receiving hate mail and reporters showing up on their doorstep, the couple had to take residence in a hotel for several days. They feared for their lives because someone thought it fun to publish their home address. The original poster of the offending tweet apologized on twitter and the couple accepted his apology. However, that did not change the fact that their lives were in danger because of the carelessness of two men and their followers who also re-tweeted the address. While I’m glad both have apologized, it should not have happened in the first place. These people should not have had to leave their home. They should not have received those death threats and reporters accosting them at their home. I think we all need to just pray that things go the way that they should and that justice for Trayvon and his family prevails. Pray that the Sanford police department gets a complete overhaul. And pray that George Zimmerman admits to his wrongdoings and confesses that he murdered an unarmed young man in cold blood.

And to George Zimmerman: Trayvon belonged in that neighborhood. He was visiting one of his parents who lived in that gated community you so desperately wanted to “protect.” After calling 911 a total of 46 times, I would think they wouldn’t take you seriously. You are not a police officer. You never will be. You wanted to play cowboy so badly that it took the life of a child who was walking back to the home of one of his parents. Do you make it a habit of sitting in your car watching as people walk by? Do you make it a habit of asking random people “What are you doing here? What business do you have here?” Had that been me you stopped, you would have gotten one hell of a response. I simply would have told you that  my business did not concern you, I belong here, and have a nice evening. Get your act together, stop playing supercop, and leave the job to the professionals.


Dance Moms,Toddlers in Tiaras & Big Rich Texas

OK, people, I know you’ve watched at least one of these shows. I have watched two episodes of Dance Moms and about 8 of Big Rich Texas. I absolutely refuse to watch Toddlers in Tiaras. Those of you who have watched Toddlers in Tiaras most likely have put the number for Child Protective Services on speed dial. I don’t blame you. The idea of dressing little girls up like grown women disturbs and disgusts me. Little girls ought to be little girls, NOT GROWN ASS WOMEN!!! Let’s tackle one issue at a time, ok?

Dance Moms

Little kids take dance classes, and if they like it (or their parents force them to say they like it) they’ll keep at it long enough to audition for the show “Fame” or the school it’s based upon. After watching just two episodes last night, I have to wonder just how much these kids really like dancing. I took it briefly, but it was over 20 years ago. I remember having fun with it and my parents weren’t cutthroat about it like these moms, and the teacher wasn’t looking for Broadway perfection like the dance teacher on Dance Moms. Some of these mothers take it far more seriously then their daughters! Don’t get me wrong, the kids do a great job and they are serious about what they do. But they’re also KIDS! They have fun and they’re with their friends. One mother pulled her daughter out of practice because she pitched a bitch fit with the instructor over her daughter not getting a solo performance. I’m sure the daughter wanted a solo, but not badly enough to throw a tantrum like her mom did. Seriously? Grown men and women don’t (and shouldn’t) do that. I’m 29, and if I don’t agree with something, I simply say so in the most respectful way possible, not go up to my (hypothetical) daughter’s teacher and tell her how to do her job. You might get a bug up your ass, but your child suffers the most out of this. The behavior the moms exhibit also teaches the kids that the best way to get your way or to be heard is if you show your ass in public. Nice. Real nice. These parents are pushing their kids to the point where the moms are spinning their heads 360 degrees over something that probably isn’t that big a deal to their kids. As for the teacher? You took your kid to her because you knew she could teach your daughter what she needs to know to be her best. If you don’t like it, pull her out and either find another activity your child will like or put her in another studio, but don’t act a fool in front of people. Handle that privately. You’re already hurting your child by making her into a little “diva” before she even hits her teens (at which point she’ll already be a diva of her own making).

Toddlers in Tiaras

Oh, goodness, where do I start? Did we not learn anything from the JonBenet case? Mothers, please, don’t dress your baby girls up like they’re going to prom. There’s plenty of time for that. I’ve seen children on shows like this who looked like they were in their late teens to early 20’s. That’s not natural. Do you know how many child molesters there are out there who are probably buying tickets to your kid’s pageant? I damn sure wouldn’t want my (hypothetical) daughter to be a part of this. It almost seems as if you’re pimping your kids out for the world to see. And if you watch shows like this, you’ll see the girls are whining and screaming because they want to go play with their friends and be normal kids. But what are you having them do? You’re taking them to get tanned, perming their hair, tweezing their eyebrows and putting on makeup that you and your club hopping friends wear on Saturdays nights (don’t hate, you know you do). Dads, get involved in your daughters’ lives. And I don’t mean get involved in getting them prepped for these events, I mean getting involved in their lives to be sure that your daughters don’t get put into dangerous situations, and trust me when I say this counts as one.

Big Rich Texas

This isn’t exactly about parents who put their kids in harms way, but there is one woman on the show who absolutely insists on pimping out her goddaughter. And the child is fighting back by telling her godmother “no, I’m not doing this anymore!” I respect her for that. At one point the girl wanted to be Miss America, but with her having a job, being in school and working to get the godmother’s business up and running, she hardly has time to be a teenager. She’s 18, let her be 18. She’s an adult now, but she’s still young. Let her have her youth for crying out loud! At 18 I was in college and stressing over mid-terms and finals. Enough with the pageants and let your goddaughter be herself. Kudos for her having a job and going to college, but leave her alone on the rest. And keep her out of the “country club” circles. Let her have some normal friends.

Parents, be parents and not micro-manage every aspect of your little angel’s life. Try having a normal parent-child relationship with them and not sign them up for these reality shows that showcase how little you regard your child. Say what you want, but it doesn’t seem as though these parents are thinking in terms of what is truly in the best interests of the kids, but more of what the parents can gain out of the success of the child. If you want to see some trophies on the wall, then YOU go out and do something that helps you win a trophy. YOU go out and enter Mrs. New York or Mrs. America. YOU enter a bowling league. Leave the kids out of this and let them have a normal upbringing and develop a normal body image. Let them enjoy life. Let them enjoy their childhood. Your kids are only going to get one shot at this, so make it count.

Rush Limbaugh

I’m putting this under both “shock jocks” and “politics” because today they go hand in hand. I know everyone has heard of Rush Limbaugh. If you’ve heard of him, then you know that he called a Georgetown law student a “slut” and “prostitute.” Of course, that’s raised a huge stink among the general population. I don’t care if you’re a republican, a democrat, an independent or a tea party member–you know what he said was wrong. Dead wrong. Rush, let me teach you a little something about women. We don’t like being called “sluts” or “prostitutes” just because we want our health care to cover birth control, which is what Ms. Fluke was trying to convey to congress. Apparently, you don’t listen to the news or pay close attention before shooting your mouth off. What Ms. Fluke is asking for is not unreasonable. Think about it, Limbaugh. Birth control pills aren’t just used as protection during sexual activity. According to the Center for Young Women’s Health, birth control pills also help with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS), Endometriosis, heavy menstrual cycles, acne, menstrual cramps, amenorrhea (lack of periods from low weight, excessive exercising, or ovary damage from radiation or chemotherapy), etc. If you want to do further research into these condition, go to the link I’m providing below. Do yourself a favor, Rush. Educate yourself on the many uses of birth control pills and you’ll see why this issue is so important to Ms. Fluke and to those who support her. As a man, you should be embarrassed that you decided to disrespect a woman, and on air no less. You are correct when you say that you “illustrate the absurd with absurdity,” because calling a woman a “slut” and “prostitute” is indeed absurd. As for your poor excuse of an apology…has anyone ever taught you how to extend a proper apology? Clearly not. You apologized for your “insulting word choices.” What other insults did you have saved up for the poor woman? Did you have something worse in store for her? As if there is anything more you could say. Just keep in mind, you came from a woman, and no doubt  you have young women in your family. I’m certain you would not want some jackass calling those young women what you called Ms. Fluke. Show some respect and give Sandra the proper apology she deserves. Since you humiliated her on air, you can properly apologize on air. The way you humiliate her is the way you make amends. Good luck getting more sponsors. I see they are dropping like flies


Ignorance is no excuse for poor behavior. Educate yourself and you will go a long way. Peace.