I never thought this would be an issue, but after a conversation with my sister earlier today, I feel like I need to address this subject: how men approach women. Gents, if you want to approach a lady, do so respectfully. Don’t go up to her and start the conversation with “Yo, ma!” or “hey ma, can I get your number?” I’m going to address that too, but here’s a list of things men need to understand when it comes to approaching women. Take notes, fellas. This list determines whether or not you get a date on Friday night.
1. Asking a woman you’ve never met to pay for your food.
I’m all for helping out a friend or buying a meal for someone who would not have had anything to eat otherwise. However, if I’m in Subway, and a man I don’t know turns around and asks me, “so, are you paying for my food?” I will most definitely shut him down. I may say “no,” or give a resounding “hell no!” If you can afford those nice Jordans or the iPod you’ve got in your hand, then you can afford to pay for your own sandwich.
2. Ask me out once and only once.
If you ask me out and I say no, 9 times out of 10 my answer will remain the same. Don’t keep asking me out hoping my answer will change. Nothing will change. If it does, you’ll be the first one to know. Guys, women don’t like being hounded for a date. If the answer was a favorable one, you would have already gone on the first date by now. The fact that the woman says no is not a reflection on your character; she’s just not interested. Be respectful of her boundaries and leave well enough alone.
3. Approach me respectfully.
This is a given. I should not have to say this, but there are “men” out there who think it’s cute to call a woman “ma” while talking to her or trying to get her attention. Newsflash, fellas, you have a “ma,” and I’m not it. Your “ma” is the one who raised you, so save that term of endearment for her. If you want to talk to me, come to me and ask me how I’m doing; introduce yourself to me; ask me for my name; and just start a conversation with me.
4. Do not ask the question “Hey, Ma, can I get your number?”
I could count how many times a man has asked me that–both in high school and college. Honestly, approaching me like that won’t work. If you come up to me asking that question, my answer will be “no.” In college, I would tell these guys that I had a boyfriend, which was the truth. Some of them were respectful and backed off, and some were not and would follow up with the suggestion that “we can be friends.” We both know you want more than a platonic relationship, so why are you even asking that question?
Gentlemen, if you see a beautiful woman and you would love to get to know her better, keep these rules in mind. I’m not your mother, so do not call me “Ma.” Show some respect, and maybe you’ll get a phone number.